let me make it simple....

So much to be said on one piece of paper….and yet I bet my entire future on it

T-5 days until commencement

Finally got a job doing something close to what i wanna do with my life…..

to be continued

My brother is gone. Not indefinitely, but still- he’s gone. To china. And here I am, 2:41am writing a blog about how my quiet days have been with my dog Maxx. I stay up late, and get up early. If you know me really well, you know that I cant be alone for more than a few hours or I go out of my mind. The thought of my brother leaving me alone in our 3 bedroom apt for over a month mad me sick to my stomach, and as I counted down the days to his departure, I sank a little bit more. Its sad, Im usually like a lost puppy, but for some reason this time is different. Ive been alone for about 2 days straight, with no human contact other than skyping my parents (not even vid, but chatting) and Jeffrey, and Im fine. In fact, I feel completely in my zen. I wonder if its because Im getting older? More lame? I’ve been analyzing this all semester long. The thought of going to a party to get plastered, now seems so stupid when I can sit at home watching Glee with my brother, or playing video games with my boyfriend. Take me back two yrs ago, and you wouldnt catch me home on a Friday night, you’d find me passed out on a bench with my heels still on and my lipstick all over my face.

Im different, in every way possible. I dance (i never dance), I stay home to read (psshh I NEVER READ), I wake up early (or maybe i just stay up wayy too late) and I have no idea where im going in life (ive had my life planned out since i was like 13), and yet- I feel like Ive been doing this my whole life…